How to Deal with Christmas Complications

By Kelsey Chun, December 13, 2020
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For some of us, working during the holidays is fraught with challenges. Though it may be tempting to push aside our complicated emotions, it’s important that we deal with them appropriately, and take good care of ourselves along the way.


While Christmas is often thought of as a time to enjoy with loved ones, that is unfortunately not the reality for many in the workforce. Some have to work on holidays, while for others, the Christmas season is their busy time of year. Others may have to face emotionally heavy situations as part of their jobs, while others carry personal burdens that can make working this time of year especially difficult. Whatever the case may be, working in the holiday season is not always as joyful and easy as a Hallmark movie would have one believe.

While dealing with the logistics of your particular holiday-work situation may be simple, the emotional baggage it leaves you with may not be. While it is normal to have emotional reactions to situations that are not ideal, they can get in the way of your job if not dealt with appropriately—or at all. 

Below you’ll find various work scenarios that occur around the holidays and how to manage them so they don’t get in the way of doing your job well.

If you have to work on Christmas (or another holiday)

Whether you work in health care, food service, or retail, the reality for many employed people is that holidays are not a given day off of work. Unfortunately, our society seems to be moving in a direction that makes it more and more common to work on Christmas, especially as working from home has become the norm and, thus, work-life boundaries have become blurred. 

Whatever the case may be, if you do have to work on Christmas, it can be tempting to let bitterness or sadness spill over into your work day as you think about your family gathered together without you. In order to put your best foot forward at work, it’s important to acknowledge your frustration or sadness beforehand. 

Make sure, prior to Christmas, you articulate to yourself what is going to happen, “I’m going to have to work on Christmas when my family is all together. I might feel sad or mad for having to miss out on the fun.” It’s important not to rush to the “…but I will see them the next day,” or “…but I am lucky I work at a job I love,” or simply, “…but it’s okay.” While all of that may be good and true, it unnecessarily glosses over the pain (however big or small) you may be feeling about missing out on traditions or gatherings. 

Instead, try to let yourself fully feel whatever comes up for you before the big day. Talk to a therapist or loved one about it, write about it in a journal or letter to yourself, and be brutally honest with yourself. Let yourself cry or feel angry if need be. Or, do something physical, like exercise or dance, to complete the stress cycle after you’ve expressed these uncomfortable emotions. 

Allowing yourself to feel these emotions before you’re at work on Christmas will help you avoid having a meltdown at work or taking out your frustration on your co-workers.

If Christmas is your busy season at work

While this holiday season may look different due to Covid-19, the holidays are usually full of gatherings and fun traditions. When this is your busiest time of year for work, it can be difficult to make the time to enjoy these activities. Whether you are working from home or at work, feelings of missing out, such as sadness or bitterness, may come up for you. 

Additionally, you may feel stressed or anxious at the thought of trying to get work done while also trying to partake in your family’s or friend’s holiday festivities. On top of that, there’s the general stress that usually surrounds Christmas as many of us try to find gifts for everyone on our list, possibly prepare for travel, and organize Christmas festivities.

All of that is to say, if Christmastime is your job’s busy season, it may well be your busy season at work and at home. Boundaries are going to be key for you all around. Pick the festivities that you really want (or need) to attend, and say no to the rest. While this is understandably difficult, saying yes to too much so as not to disappoint family or friends may lead to greater disappointment down the road if you end up missing something you had originally said yes to. Keep clear boundaries at work, too. Even though it’s your busy season, don’t take on work-related tasks that are not your responsibility or pile more on your plate than needs to be. 

If you are feeling FOMO about Christmas festivities, heed the aforementioned tips about expressing your feelings before you get to work. Bottling up your feelings may cause you to take them out on someone who doesn’t deserve it or somewhere it might not be ideal. 

Especially in times that feel chaotic, make time for self care. This doesn’t necessarily mean getting a manicure or a massage. Rather, self care in busy times looks like making time to literally care for yourself—shower, eat, hydrate, move your body. Take screen breaks and journal, read, or rest for 30 to 60 minutes. Continue to see your therapist or check-in with your loved ones. Prioritize sleep. Do the simple things that keep your tank filled, literally and emotionally.

If you’re dealing with hard things on Christmas

Some jobs are a stark contrast from the candlelit meals and sweet carols that may come to mind when we think of Christmas. Nurses, doctors, social workers, law enforcement officials, and others may have to deal with the harsh reality that all, sadly, do not experience good tidings on Christmas. If you have to deal with difficult realities at work, these can feel especially heavy during what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. 

Similarly, others may have personal difficulties around the holidays or carry emotional burdens that are exacerbated by Christmas. While these may seem unrelated to work, grief or stress in your personal life will likely affect your productivity, mood, and focus at work. 

In both of these situations, the first step is to be aware of the emotional burden. If you work a job that is emotionally heavy, acknowledge to yourself that this might be an especially hard time of year to stomach what you see at work. If you carry a personal wound that occurred around Christmas, remind yourself that Christmas might be a difficult time, as it is the “anniversary” of this unfortunate event. If you are going through something emotionally difficult right now, know that all the emotions surrounding the Christmas season—both good and bad—can heighten your emotional experience, too (even if your situation is unrelated to Christmas). Write this down or speak it aloud to someone you trust to help your brain acknowledge it.

To keep your emotions from affecting your work performance negatively, self-care is critical. As mentioned above, take care of yourself physically with food, water, sleep, and movement. Take a bath or shower. Take breaks from your job, even if small, and find time to do things you enjoy. Lower your expectations for yourself: cook simple meals, have a handful of outfits you wear on rotation, let the laundry and dishes pile up a bit if need be.

If the weight of what you see at work or what you’re experiencing personally is hard to contain, or you find it getting in the way of your work performance (or other areas of your life), seek help. You can find a local therapist, or a virtual one (which is a popular option now thanks to the pandemic). If cost or insurance is an issue, many therapists offer pro bono sessions (just inquire about them), and some offices or institutions have sliding scale fees.

One simple word

Whatever your work-life predicament this Christmas season, remembering one small word, “and,” can make your life a little easier. You can be busy and take a little time to enjoy festivities. You can witness or carry pain and find joy this Christmas. 

Negative and positive emotions usually aren’t mutually exclusive; rather, they can (and often do) coexist. While you allow yourself to feel whatever unpleasant emotions that come up for you this season, let yourself feel the glimmers of joy, too.

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Kelsey Chun 
Kelsey Chun is a marriage and family therapist, freelance writer, and the author of With A Little Grace, a “wholesome journal” that showcases her array of interests. Kelsey lives in Michigan, but received her graduate and undergraduate degrees from Northwestern University, where she played varsity field hockey. You can follow her on Instagram @withalittlegrace_ for musings about style, relationships, mental health, and faith.